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60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy

1. Ive smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, its cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why dont we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. Its more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, theres a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
10. It looks like a night crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet are so big.
12. My last boyfriend was 4 bigger.
13. Its ok, well work around it.
14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
15. Eww, theres an inch worm on your thigh.
16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
17. Oh no, a flash headache.
18. (giggle and point)
19. Can I be honest with you?
20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
21. Let me go get my tweezers.
22. How sweet, you brought incense.
23. This explains your car.
24. You must be a growing boy.
25. Maybe if we water it, itll grow.
26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
27. Are you one of those pygmies?
28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
29. Every heard of clearasil?
30. All right, a treasure hunt
31. I didnt know they came that small.
32. Why is God punishing you?
33. At least this wont take long.
34. I never saw one like that before.
35. What do you call this?
36. But it still works, right?
37. Damn, I hate baby-sitting.
38. It looks so unused.
39. Do you take steroids?
40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
42. Why dont we skip right to the cigarettes?
43. Oh, I didnt know you were in an accident.
44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
45. Aww, its hiding.
46. Are you cold?
47. If you get me real drunk first.
48. Is that an optical illusion?
49. What is that?
50. Ill go get the ketchup for your french fry.
51. Were you neutered?
52. Its a good thing you have so many other talents.
53. Does it come with an air pump?
54. So this is why youre supposed to judge people on personality.
55. Where are the puppet strings?
56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.
58. Never mind, why bother.
59. Is that a second belly button?
60. Wheres the rest of it?
Date9/8/2005 2:56:00 PM
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Tags:  60  Things  Not  to  Say  to  Naked  Guy 
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