So this isnt Home Sweet Home ... Adjust
Martha Stewart doesnt live here
Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself
I clean house every other day. Today is the other day.
If you write in the dust, please dont date it
I would cook dinner but I cant find the can opener
My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it
I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.
If you dont like my standards of cooking ...lower your standards.
Although youll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse. It doesnt always look like this: Some days its even worse.
A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.
My next house will have no kitchen ... just vending machines.
Id live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.