Women are having sex with their husbands/boyfriends because they cant afford batteries.
Jury Duty is now considered a good-paying job.
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
African television stations are now showing Sponsor an American Child commercials!
I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
My ATM gave me an IOU!
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with the purchase was a bank.
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonalds is now selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned the names of their children.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldnt afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
Motel Six wont leave the light on for you anymore.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
They renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street"
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
One of the casinos in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.