*When asked by the police how many times she hit Tiger, Elin replied "Im not sure, put me down for a 5"
*I think Tiger needs a new driver, his current shaft keeps getting him in trouble!
*I read that the PGA are now investigating Tiger for having too many "woodies" in his bag!
*After scoring a couple of beautiful birdies earlier on, Tiger finds himself in serious trouble at the last hole, coming home.
*Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
*Tigers tip for wayward golfers: never ask your wife to keep track of your balls.
*If Elin really did whack Tiger a couple of times with a golf club, it would have been in line with the rules of golf: theres a 2-stroke penalty for playing the wrong hole.
*Hey Adidas, this is Tiger, Nike found your number in my phone. I need you to change your name...