Posted: 12/1/2009 12:00:00 AM
1. I think part of a best friends job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize youre wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didnt want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I cant remember the last time I wasnt at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just arent going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I dont want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. Im always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page proposal that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
15. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
16. I keep some peoples phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
17. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.