1.You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devils pets. 2.Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to "Stay still." 3.Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as drinking a glass of fresh paint. 4.The bathroom reminds you of the fairground cry, "Step right up and give it whirl!" 5.Youd rather chew tacks than be exposed to sunlight. 6.You set aside an entire afternoon to spend some quality time with your toilet. 7.You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in a fetal position. 8.Your catch phrase is, "Never again." 9.You could purchase a new fridge on the proceeds from recycling the bottles around your bed. 10.Your new response to "Good morning," is "Be quiet!"