1. Its enjoyable hard or soft.
2. It makes a mess too, but it tastes better.
3. It doesnt mind if you take your anger out on it.
4. You always want to swallow.
5. It wont complain if you share it with friends.
6. Its quick and convenient.
7. You can enjoy it more than once.
8. It comes already protectively wrapped.
9. You can make it as large as you want.
10. If you dont finish it you can save it for later.
11. Its easier to get the kind you want.
12. You can comparison shop.
13. Its easier to find in a grocery store.
14. You can put it away when youve had enough.
15. You know yours has never been eaten before.
16. It wont complain if you chew on it.
17. It comes chocolate flavoured.
18. You always know when to get rid of it.
19. You can return it--satisfaction is guaranteed.
20. Its always ready to go.
21. You wont get arrested if you eat it in public.
22. You dont have to change the sheets if you eat it in bed.
23. It wont wake you up because its hard.
24. You dont have to find an excuse not to eat it.
25. You can tell your friends how much youve eaten without sounding like youre bragging.
26. It wont take up room in your bed.
27. Its easy to pick up.
28. You never have unwanted cookie dough chasing you around.
29. You know what the extra weight is from.
30. It wont get jealous if you pick up another one.
31. It never has an insecurity problem with its size.
32. It is very pliable.
33. You can sculpt it into ANY form you want.