So occasionally you go to the neighborhood bar or pub and hang out. Did you ever really think about what all of the conversation going on around you actually mean, what people are actually "saying"?
"Ill get this one, next one is on you." = Happy hour is about to end....now drafts are a dollar, but by the next round theyll be $4.50 a pop.
"You get this one, next round is on me." = We wont be here long enough to get another round.
"I havent seen you around here for a long time." = You stuck up little twit, too good for your old friends??
"Hey, where is that friend of yours?" = I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.
"I dont feel well, lets go home." (female) = You are paying more attention to your friends than me.
"I dont feel well, lets go home." (male) = Im horny.
"What do you have on tap?" = Whats cheap?
"Ive had like 10 beers already." = Ive only had 3 but need an excuse to behave this way.
"Excuse Me." (male to male) = Get the fuck out of the way.
"Excuse Me." (male to female) = I am going to grope you now.
"Excuse Me." (female to male) = Dont even think about groping me, just get the fuck out of the way.
"Excuse Me." (female to female) = Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You are not all that, missy, and dont think for one minute that you are. And get your eyes off of my man.
"I dont have my ID on me." (female) = Im 17.
"I dont have my ID on me." (male) = I am actually 45, but the 22 year old girl I brought thinks I am 30.
8/2/2010 12:00:00 AM