Lifetime lessons

Posted: 8/2/2010 12:00:00 AM
1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

3. People who want to share their religious veiws with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

4. No matter what happens... somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

5. When trouble arises & things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution & is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy.

6. Nobody cares if you cant dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

9. "The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think shes pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.


Joke Comments