A modem doesnt ask for a commitment if you use it. Getting a modem to obey you is as simple as typing "AT".
When youre done using your modem, you can roll over and go to sleep without feeling guilty.
A modem wont say a word if you come home late.
A modem cant collect alimony if you decide to dump it.
A modem will always wait patiently by the phone.
You can always get a few bucks for an old modem when a faster model comes out.
A modem doesnt mind if you call another modem.
A virus you catch from your modem doesnt require a trip to the doctor.
You dont have to bring a modem home to meet your parents. If an error occurs, Abort, Retry or Fail are the only options you have to worry about.
Modems come with an instruction manual. Modems have a volume control - you can even turn the sound OFF.