Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake.
"Ill go into town for a doctor," the other says.
He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the towns only doctor, who is delivering a baby.
"I cant leave," the doctor says. "But heres what to do: take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison, and spit it on the ground."
The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony.
"What did the doctor say?" the victim asks.
"He says youre gonna die."