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Bitches and Bastards

Posted: 6/30/2009 12:00:00 AM
 
One day, a little boy is watching his Saturday cartoons. His mother is on the phone in the room. She is getting extremely pissed. Finally, she slams down the phone screaming "BITCHES AND BASTARDS!!!" The boy turns around and asks, "What does that mean, Mommy?" Realizing her mistake, the mom quickly says, "Uh, ladies and gentlemen."

The boy accepts this answer and later goes to bed after dinner. But that night he has a bad dream. He goes to tell his parents about it, and as he walks in, he sees the two screwing. The mom says "Feel my boobies", and the man says, "Feel my dick". The boy asks what that means. The two, shocked, said "Hats and coats! Hats and coats!"

The next evening, the boy is watching his dad shave. He cuts his lip with his razor. "Sh*t!!" the dad yells. The boy, quizzically, asks what THAT means. The dad quickly says, "Thats the brand of shaving cream Im using!"

Now the boy goes downstairs and sees his mom cutting a turkey. She cuts her finger. "F**k!!!!" she screams. The boy asks what that means. "Uh... cut!" she says instantly.

Now the grandarents arrive for supper. The little boy says, "Hi, bitches and bastards! Hang your boobies and dicks on the coat rack. Dads upstairs putting Sh*t on his face, and moms in the kitchen f**king the chicken!" The grandparents faint.
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