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A Bachelors Diet

Posted: 6/2/2009 12:00:00 AM
 
The Bachelor Diet

Monday

Breakfast - Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth
Lunch - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" - those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chilli, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.
Afternoon Snack - Drink the maalox
Dinner - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken
three-piece Dinner, dont eat the coleslaw.

Tuesday

Breakfast - Eat the coleslaw
Lunch - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.
Dinner - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flashos.

Wednesday

Breakfast - Jaws couldnt eat Breakfast after a night at El Flashos
Lunch - Rolaids and a coke
Dinner - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps

Thursday

Breakfast - Order out for pizza
Lunch - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.
Dinner - Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.

Friday

Breakfast - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and its better for you.
Lunch - Skip Lunch, Fridays are murder
Dinner - Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Dont
eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.

Saturday

Breakfast - Sleep through it.
Lunch - Ditto
Dinner - Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts.
Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them
in a hanging basket.

Sunday

Breakfast - Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.
Lunch - Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.
Dinner - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.
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