A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love, couldnt wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, Ill be right back."
"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
"Im going to the bar, Pretty Face." he answered. "Im going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India , etc.
The husband didnt know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... You know... they have frozen glasses... "
He didnt get to finish the sentence, because the wife interr upted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors doeuvres that are really delicious... I wont be long. Ill be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors doeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors doeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.
"But my sweet honey... at the bar. you know theres swearing, dirty words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS DOEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISNT GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?"