25 Dirty One Liner Jokes

Posted: 1/24/2015 11:41:21 AM
Q: What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?
A: a PDF File

Q: Why do vegetarians give good head?
A: Because they are used to eating nuts!

Q: What is the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After five years your job still sucks.

Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q: Do you know what 6.9 is?
A: A good thing screwed up by a period.

Q: Why didn't the Toilet Paper cross the road?
A: It got stuck in a crack

Q: Why are Penises the lightest things in the world?
A: Even thoughts can raise them.

Q: What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection?
A: A Quarter Pounder with Cheese

Q: How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper!

Q: What's the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?
A: Two Test-tickles

Q: What do a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

Q: What does a perverted frog say?
A: Rubbit

Q: Why did the snowman smile?
A: Because the snowblower was coming.

Q: What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?
A: If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!

Q: What is the cheapest meat you can buy?
A: Deer balls. They're under a buck

Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A: A guy will actually take the time to search for a golf ball

Q: Why will a woman never be the one to propose?
A: As soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants.

Q: What does a woman put behind her ears to make herself more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: How can you tell if you're in a gay church?
A: Only half the congregation is kneeling

Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A: Snowballs.

Q: What did the sign on the door of the brothel say?
A: Beat it, we're closed

Q: Why did god invent alcohol?
A: So fat women can get laid too

Q: Who was the worlds first carpenter?
A: Eve, because she made Adam's banana stand

Q: Whats the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
A: When you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking.

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