50 Reasons Why It's Good To Be a Man - Part 1

Posted: 9/18/2014 12:03:37 PM
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1.) Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2.) Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3.) You know stuff about tanks.
4.) A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
5.) Monday Night Football.
6.) You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
7.) Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
8.) You can open all your own jars.
9.) Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight.
10.) Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
11.) When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.
12.) Your butt is never a factor in job interviews.
13.) All your orgasms are real.
14.) A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex.
15.) Guy in hockey masks don't attack you (unless you smash 'em into the boards).
16.) You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
17.) You understand why Stripes is funny.
18.) You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
19.) Your last name stays put.
20.) You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
21.) When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
22.) You can kill your own food.
23.) The garage is all yours.
24.) You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
25.) You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
26.) Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.
27.) You never have to clean a toilet.
28.) You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes. YUP!!!!
29.) Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
30.) Wedding plans take care of themselves.
31.) If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
32.) Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
33.) The National College Cheerleading Championship.
34.) You don't have to shave below your neck.
35.) None of your co-workers has the power to make you cry.
36.) You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.
37.) If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.
38.) You can write your name in the snow.
39.) You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
40.) Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.
41.) Chocolate is just another snack.
42.) You can be president. (In this lifetime.)
43.) You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
44.) Flowers fix everything.
45.) You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
46.) You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
47.) You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
48.) Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
49.) You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
50.) You can say anything ("Wow, do my balls hurt!") and not worry about what people will think.
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